A skill that makes a lot of difference – Speaking Skills & Oration!

Let’s discuss ‘Speaking & Oratory Skills’ today. We see there are some people who speak very well and usually win a lot of attention & accolades. They also are able to put forward their talk very well so that others get mesmerized. On the other hand, we see there are many who struggle to speak their mind, get juggled in thoughts and are not able to put themselves well.

Some of us don’t have any fear of the stage and can speak in front of big audiences. And there are others who hesitate speaking because they have either fear of the stage or fear of people’s perceptions

The ability to speak well, connect with other person or the audience, put forward one’s own thoughts clearly and efficiently, and building an understanding is a must learn skill to stand differentiated.

So, what’s that thing that makes us a good or a bad speaker? When we will scratch the surface, to know a bit deeper, we will find there isn’t much of a difference, apart from the mindset, the thought process! And mindsets are to be shaped in childhood, which can’t be shaped much in adulthood! And it does take some practice for sure.

What we can do at home to help children overcome their mind’s complexes – 

First of all, understand there is nothing like a Perfect Speech. So we need not to rush for perfection. Just trying to apply the following points as much as we can, will make our Speaking and oratory skills become better than previous

Emphasize on learning ‘The art of storytelling’ from an early age! – Speaking and oratory skills is like an art of storytelling. It should be in sequence, it should be able to connect with the other person and audience well, it should give the clarity and context to the other person or the audience, it should be able to make them understand our point, believe in us and dwell/get engaged in our words

Just like when we recite a story, all the above things happen, similarly our speaking and oratory skills should be such that it feels like a story having all the above components

Ask children to Trust themselves. Believe in themselves – Very important. If it is 1 person we are speaking to, or 100 or 1000s of people, the fundamentals are the same. And if we are able to or are already speaking efficiently with 1 person, we can speak to 100s and 1000s of people as well! Trusting ourselves & believing ourselves is the starting point.

Being Patient. Not being anxious – Let’s motivate children to stay calm, composed and not in any anxiety or excitement while speaking. We need to sort them out first. Being impatient and anxious confuses us and does not allow us to speak in the right way. Taking a deep breath, smiling and then starting should be the ideal approach. It lightens up any anxiety and makes us feel comfortable

Let’s educate children that nervousness is fine. Just don’t let it stop you – Nervousness will come. It comes to all. Even to the ones who are very good at speaking. But we need to apprise children that they should not let it stop them. And nervousness comes only in the beginning. After that it fades. Mantra of “Just relax, believe in yourself, sort yourself and start communication” should be reinforced in children

Let’s teach children to speak firmly, authentically and assertively, without sounding rude or aggressive – Our words should be firm, assertive and should sound authentic. There should not be a shivering of words or incomplete sentences. It should not seem one is not confident. Speak confidently what one wants to say, focus on the talk rather than outside people or the audience and just execute. It should not be rude or loud.

Children need to be taught the use of voice modulation – Voice modulation means lowering or increasing the tone of your voice and using right punctuations while speaking, as per the salient and non-salient point in our message. Voice modulations are like ‘Bold/Underline’ in writing. It helps to get the attention of the listener concentrated on the key points of ours which we want to put across. Good rehearsals & practice avenues to kids will make this more entrenched. Moreover, in day to day speech as well, one should practice and use voice modulations to make it a habit

Children must understand the other person or the audience type – We should speak as per the other person or the audience (our listeners), as per their age group, their understanding level etc. When we speak but not according to the audience, we are not able to connect with them. So, we need to remind children to speak as per the listeners!

Promote organizing and structuring our points. Like storytelling – As in communication skills, we should follow the structuring of our thoughts. Ask children to take their time, need not to rush. When they feel their thoughts are organized, then speak. It may require some practice. One can even start by writing it out on piece of paper and then speaking, but orienting towards efficient structuring of thoughts is essential to become a good speaker

Comforting children that Fear is Ok. It comes. But just start. Don’t let it stop you – Children should be counseled that Fear is just a thought. Whenever we get fear, just remember it’s a thought and is natural. Just that it should not be a reason to stop us. Just start. Initiate. Go on stage and speak. Defeat your fear!

Being respectful, friendly and humble – When we sound arrogant or rude, others will never connect with us. Making other people comfortable, making them feel safe, making them connected with us, making them ready to understand us, is the only way we can win over hearts while we speak. That will only happen if we speak respectfully, friendly and humbly

Ask children to use short, precise sentences – Using too long sentences and verboseness diminishes the interest of the other person or audience. Motivate children to speak the relevant thing, short, crisp and precise. Ask them to use storytelling & raise objection when they are going off track. Purpose of story telling is not to speak more and more. It is to connect the dots and make it easy for the listener to imagine and understand our talk

Making eye contact is very important – This is very important. If we don’t put eye to eye, we will not seem confident. Other people will not relate or connect with us. When we see people speak to us, but are seeing them on the ground or here or there, we ourselves get too irritated. Do we relate to them well? No. So it is essential that we maintain eye contact. It makes them feel it is for them and feel absorbed in us and our talk

It will need Practice & Rehearsals – Practice is important. Whenever the child feels he/she needs to rehearse or practice, ask them not to hesitate & just do it. In front of the mirror, in front of family members and friends, on the stage, wherever, whatever makes them comfortable. It will make them comfortable and address their fears. Also, will help them find flaws in their speech and improve those. Try to make a routine to practice speaking skills for at least 15 mins a day

Ask children to have a sense of feedback from their listeners – It is imperative to always try to sense the feedback of our audience or the other person. How they are reacting, how they are behaving, what they are perceiving, how well they are able to understand us, are they getting the gist of what we are saying or not. We have to anticipate and make necessary changes in our speaking then and there. Motivate children to get cues from their listeners, as this approach will help them become a much better speaker

Make children use their hands and body language effectively – Our hand movements are crucial. Simple speaking will not be effective. Good hands movement and body language aid the speech and help other people imagine the talk. But at the same time, it should not be so loud that the other person sees it as some aggression or deviates his attention. It should be subtle yet effective. Coach them at home and spend some time practicing the same

Make children aware about this law of speaking – ‘Grab attention in beginning, and close with Dynamic end’ – Attention of the listener is everything. If we are able to get their attention, we are able to put forward ourselves well. If they are not attentive to us, whatever we may say, it will never reach them. So, ask children to try to open their speech with some attention grabbing, decent statement, then continue using voice modulations ant then end dynamically that it reinforces your complete message

Speaking skills is what everyone can master. It isn’t about speaking fluent or jazzy english. It is an ability to speak and put forward the thought efficiently that it strikes the listeners’ minds and hearts