Ownership shall begin from childhood!
We often hear around, ‘He/she is too young to take responsibility’. But is this the right presupposition? We feel it isn’t. There is no age from where one officially starts taking ‘Ownership’ or ‘Responsibility’. Yes, of-course, kind of responsibility may vary, but that very notion of being responsible, shall start from the very beginning. Nothing is as important as ‘Ownership’ & ‘Self Reliance’ to be coached and pushed to children!
Many adults even don’t possess this very skill, shirk off their responsibilities & remain dependent on others. But we can’t afford to remain dependent on others. Because once we are independent, then only our personality and character shines like the sun. Then only we can live a dignified life.
Yes, We can never do all the things from scratch and all by ourselves. We need support and help from people, and collaborate with them. Self Reliance here means, taking the ownership of our tasks, our roles, our responsibilities. Whenever time or situation demands, if we don’t have anyone else to do that job or thing, which we know is must to be done and should not be left, we should try to do it ourselves or take charge to get it accomplished by some means or the other.
This is adulthood’s ideal state, but our attitude of being an Owner of our roles, is shaped in our childhood.
When the child is taking servants and maids for granted, when the child is taking parents for granted, when the child is not fulfilling said commitments or promises, when the child does not bother to inform the other child which he/she should, when the child puts blames and gives all kinds of excuses and when the child isn’t readily accepting of one’s faults, many chances are that the child when grows into an adult, will carry forward the same attitude, detrimental to his/her own growth & prospects.
What parents can do to develop sense of Ownership at home –
Set this narrative at home – ‘We are a family of Responsible & Ownership taking People!’ – Play this theme till the child’s adolescence. Build this notion all around and all respective people, be it parents, should start taking ownership of their own chores and ask children to take care of theirs. The tune and habit is set at home only!
It all starts from arranging our own stuff well! – Be it arranging our bed, packing our school bag, polishing shoes for school, or carrying one’s schoolbag on our own rather than relying on parents or maids. It all starts from arranging one’s own self. Children should be motivated and incentivized to arrange their things for themselves. We set the threads loose, considering them too young for it, we impact their adulthood! Not to tighten the threads as well so tight that it leaves no room for life. But the child has to take ownership of one’s own stuff. And if we ourselves won’t do for our stuff, the child won’t either do for his/her stuff!
When the child gives excuses, ask the child what could have been possibly done – We are human, and to safeguard ourselves from any rebuke, it’s natural we start giving excuses or passing the blame on others. Children would also do so. So, to begin with, instead of scolding, if we can get into a friendly conversation and ask what alternatives possibly could have been taken, the child will be directed towards looking for controllable factors under his/her control rather than sheer excusing. Excuses take us many steps back!
Reiterate “Stay on your word!” – Children may get into a tendency of not keeping upto what they say or commit. It can be promising to arrange oneself up, but not doing it. Or promising a friend to inform in advance of one’s evening plans, but not actually informing him/her. Or giving false hopes and shirking them off. This is a very wrong habit to develop. Child should be taught that staying true to one’s word makes one’s personality great and if we can’t do something, we should not be committing
Incentivize actions where the child supports you or takes responsibilities when not asked for – It can be helping the mother in the kitchen seeing her tired, or helping dad clear up the office files scattered on the table. When children show such kind of responsible behavior, incentivize them immediately. Incentive here is not any bait, but a token of recognition. It also motivates the child to showcase such actions furthermore in future
Educate children about ‘Circle of Influence’ – Our actions have reactions. We should educate the child that our actions create influence all around. If we show irresponsibility, harming others, chances are that others also would become irresponsible and further harm others. And in that way, many people start becoming responsible. On the contrary, if we showcase responsible behavior, our friends or siblings or cousins may take that good influence and become responsible themselves. Our actions have ripple effect on the society and on others, and children should be made aware of this
Ask children to be self-driven – Self driven individuals go a long way ahead. They don’t need any directive or micro-management. They are aware of their own responsibilities, take full ownership of their actions and refrain from excuses. Such an honest and integral approach is the gift one can incorporate to children. Setting this thought to children can help them get oriented towards it, and hopefully child tries to walk the path, at least in things the child is inclined towards
Distribute responsibilities – We see when we like a particular thing or is of our interest, we do it on our own. But for the things that don’t interest us, we are ignorant. To address this, the tasks can be distributed so that all ‘not interested’ stuff does not fall at once on the child. Taking ownership of a few among those, may be a good starting point
Taking ownership of our actions is the biggest characteristic trait which differentiate ‘Great’ from the ‘commons’. And the attitude has to be shaped from a young age.
