The seed of ‘Relationships Building & Teamwork’ should be sown in Childhood!

In this world, one thing is imperative, that we can’t afford to be an individual player, if we want to go far. Our capabilities are restricted if we don’t work together. Goes for professional context, where we need to build connections, work as a team and mutually benefit each other, as well as personal context, where building and maintaining good relationships is very much essential.

We see people screwing up relationships due to ego, selfishness, lack of empathy or understanding, and lack of good communication. Also we see people who aren’t fit to work in a team when it comes to some project requiring teamwork, due to lack of orientation towards common goal, personal biases, rigid opinions, strong & inflexible stances, lack of good communication & lack of cohesion

But where does it all start?

It all starts from the childhood, when the child

– Is not open to play or work with others, and wants to be an individual player

– Tries to enforce one’s own opinions on the others

– Wants to be the unquestionable leader of the pack

– Tries to take all the credit and does not recognize others for their efforts

– Is rigid in perspectives and does not analyses others opinions

– Fights, quarrels on small things and more than that, act of reconciliation is seen as act of bulging down, so no attempt on those lines

– Does not communicate well, or tries to bully/ridicule others

Hence, the patterns have to be corrected from an early age, where these may not seem to be significant, but do amplify into an undesirable behavior detrimental to our own growth down the line.

What we can do at home to help the child develop right mindset & attitude – 

Incentivize the child for taking Relationship building initiatives – Put a clear cut incentive for the child, to maintain a cordial relation with his/her friends, avoiding conflicts and unnecessary clashes. Gradually extend the circle of influence to one’s own family members and siblings. Children must be reminded constantly to apply empathy, understanding & cordialness in day to day dealings. Incentive can be some day out to child’s favorite place, or some favorite dish

Discuss Cause-effects – Tell the child about side effects of not building good relationships & being a bad team-player on his/her own growth and how it will negatively impact him/her in future. We normally try to suggest to the child what to do, and what not to do, but often do not tell the cause effect. Child’s mind is unclear, inquisitive. Once we give cause-effects, the probability of him/her understanding the and adopting the suggestions is much more

Practice Communications & build a culture – Relationship building & teamwork is a lot dependent on how one communicates. Communication has to be respectful, authentic and clear. Motivate the child to say out their concern, and make a culture where sharing things is promoted. So that the child does not feel subdued to adopt anger or resentment as a wayout. Moreover, as one starts speaking out, good communication skills also start developing gradually

Teach patience and be open to others perspectives – Children are very energetic and excited, lack patience. And patience development can’t be enforced. Motivate the child from the very beginning to develop patience, not getting hyper, listen to other people thoroughly and be open to other people’s opinions and perspectives. Open-mindedness needs to be cultivated and nurtured from very beginning

Model empathy & compassion – Empathy is a very powerful tool, to understand the context, other side, oneself and the situation, and accordingly respond. Being a parent, try to model empathy & compassion in front of kids with others. And in a way, explain to the child what you did, and how it is important. Children see and learn from their parents more than their friends.

Play teamwork games with kids – Games and activities provide avenues to learn as well as apply at the same time. The child indulges as well as learns. Play games and do activities which call for teamwork and relationship building principles

Motivate to resolve conflicts quickly – Children do get into conflicts quickly, and often. These conflicts should be watched for, as it gives a child’s patterns. Is the child egoistic, or adamant, or thinks about oneself, or lacks empathy or any other reason. Identify the pattern, and counsel the child well. Also, motivate to resolve conflict as early as possible in a cordial way, and not to prolong the conflict. This notion has to be taught from childhood only. Incentivize right behavior as well

Discuss fundamentals of Teamwork & Relationship building – 3-4 key pointers of both teamwork and relationship building, like ‘Good Communication’, ‘Mutual Respect & Understanding’, ‘Being a unit’, ‘Good Conflict Resolution’, should be discussed and entrenched time to time in child’s mind. Make the child aware of these terms and ask to find out further what all is necessary to build good relations and team

Motivate the child to initiate connection with other people as well – Sometimes children shy away from meeting or befriending new children and are into their own comfort zone. There can be some thought process of the child which is making one stop. Try to identify that, and motivate the child to go forward, greet and initiate the connection. This quality or skill will prove useful throughout the life of the child later on.

Specific focus on such topics makes a lot of difference in Children’s life down the line. I help them save time, and evolve to the right patterns on their own!