Daring & Perseverance – A skill the child will need a lot!
Life is full of challenges, and conditions may not be favorable to us all the time. Sometimes we ourselves have to fight our own fears, and sometimes we have to face external threats with utmost wisdom and ‘Courage’.
There is less space for soft hearted people in this world. People outside will always try to overpower us in one way or another, or there can be some tests of time which ask for great resilience & strength from us. And it becomes imperative to make the mental attitude strong so that to face all such circumstances or such life challenges with confidence, patience & some daring!
Daring should not be mistaken as silly acts of jumping off the balcony or from a moving train, or arguing with some elder. That’s stupidity, not daring. Daring should always be backed by a good rationale and reason.
Along goes Perseverance. Since ‘Daring’ can’t go alone. One can be daring to begin, but when some failures happen, some more trials are needed, some patience is needed, ‘Perseverance’ comes to rescue.
Good part is, both are mental attitudes which can be shaped. Some are blessed with this trait from birth, and some have to develop it along.
Things we can do at home to nurture ‘Daring & Perseverance’ in children (especially relevant in today’s context we tend to become over protective of our children)
Define the fine line between Daring & Stupidity – As mentioned earlier, child must be apprised of true meaning of daring i.e dealing with failures smartly, facing the challenges well, not bowing down to situation which asks us to be strong, voicing out for the right, or even being kind in society which is showcasing cruelty. And not silly bets that friends make to one another poking them to do dangerous acts without any reason. When child is clear what is right and what is nonsense, one chooses his/her battles smartly
Let the child take stance and actions during times of adversity – We sometimes being over protective always jump in for the child’s rescue. The child thus becomes dependent on us. But one can’t be having external support all the time. Yes, it may sound different, but we should let them face the situation themselves. We may ask what they think they should do, and listen to them or handhold them with right advice, but let them execute, so that they become comfortable and mentally strong
Courage is not the absence of Fear, but the ability to deal with fear. Tell them fear is just a mind’s thought, nothing else – Exposing them to the truth that even the strongest of the people do get fear, because it’s a mind’s thought which comes, and it comes to everyone. Difference is that strong people rationalize that fear, think if it is worthy or not, and don’t let fear dominate them. We all will get fearful thoughts since our brain tries to make us cautious. But we have to rationalize whether that’s what should stop us, whether that thought is true or my own imagination, what if I start fearing all such things and not make the move. Such rationalization should start from childhood
Positive talk to the child that they are strong enough to face anything! – Children seek external validation, and the starting point of any attitude build up is external push. Gradually when one grows, one starts finding power from inside. That’s an evolution. So, positive talk to the child like that they are strong, they are not afraid or worried by small injuries, they can face the bully with strength and courage, they can speak up when they feel something isn’t right or they can face any life challenge with a smiling face, creates a positive mindset which is beneficial to them only
Talk about failures and need for perseverance – Sometimes children may feel perseverance to be a burdensome thing. So, making it easy for them is imperative. Understanding failures and importance of the same has to be taught to children, so that they become comfortable with failures first and look at perseverance as ‘part of process’ thing than any quality they need to acquire
Promote a jolly, blissful, full of life attitude & environment – Ask children not to get irritated by names taken by friends or their banters. Taking things healthily makes us strong. Sometimes when friends make fun of our names and banter with us, we become too defensive, or feel like crying. It’s just banter that we should take healthily and laugh along with. Or we can also have friendly banters with others. When we are jolly, blissful, full of life, then only we can have a positive mental attitude. Differentiating between friendly banter and bullying is to be done by the children themselves and act accordingly
Showcase Courage and Perseverance yourself – When children feel their parents are also Daring and persevere, they themselves want to be like one. It drives them to that positive mental attitude. It can be in any context, but when the child sees the parents are not anxious or fearful, they consider it as super trait and helps their positive mindset build up
Tell the child that bullying some is an act of cowardice and not courage – Some children are by nature dominant, so they tend to bully others. For such kids, we need to educate them that bullying is an act of cowardice since we are just taking advantage of someone who might not be as dominant as us. If we are courageous, we should either do that with someone of our level. First of all, bullying isn’t the right thing. True meaning of courage is to be taught to kids so that they are anchored towards the right thing and not superficial things
Motivate kids to put their opinions and speak up. Never undermine their voice – When we undermine a child’s voice or thought, they feel weak, helpless and hopeless. That’s a big trauma in a child’s mind, which can reflect upon in other circumstances. They would stop speaking up, even the wrongs they face, and might lose strength to face the adversary with confidence. Moreover things can start accumulating inside only to erupt at once turning it into a bad shape. Motivating them to speak up gives them confidence so that they can speak to us or others during times they should be speaking & not hide!
Expose them to relevant content – movies, comics, talk shows – And also discuss how the main character demonstrated courage, perseverance and strong mental attitude
Make it a point to “believe in yourself” – Self Belief is a great catalyst in having a positive attitude, and possess skills like Daring & Perseverance. Belief comes from within. Let’s initiate anchoring children towards their within. They won’t relate to it instantly, but remember, this is the seed which will shoot up during their adolescence and then they will realize what inner belief means. Set a narrative, “we are family of believers, and we all Believe in ourselves”
A positive mental attitude and strong belief system can help us overcome any life challenge and give us all the zeal and enthusiasm to overcome it while having a smiling face! Let’s start shaping the children towards this very idea.
