10 life skills that a child must learn by the age of 10

Childhood days, especially before the age of 10, are the best days to tune the child, because beyond that, the mental conditioning starts fixating, going along the whole way out till adulthood, and is difficult to mould in later life stages. Child’s mind is evolving very quickly, and is receptive to all external stimuli, with the majority of the notions getting entrenched in its seed form by the age of 10. All in all, these are the most impressionable years, so we need to be particular about what conditioning we do for the child.

Below are the 10 life skills, whose seed should be sown within the age of 10, for them to bloom later in life. Because after 10, there is going to be a major transitional shift in their life with they starting their journey towards adoloscence, becoming more mentally and physically mature, and heading their journeys towards careers (an initial start)

But before that, let’s recognise the fact that as a parent, we have to change our own positions with time. Till the age of 2 or 3, we parents must nurture, maybe pamper and give lots of love to the child. Till the age of 8 or 9, we parents must focus on disciplining the child. At 10 and beyond, we parents must focus on becoming friends with children.

Moving on to those top 10 life skills : –

1. Social dealing skills – The child had earlier been very protective and has all the back of parents. But after 10, his independence journey would begin, and get exposed to lot of social dealings, be it with friends, neighbours, relatives, schoolmates, and other people around. So, notions of empathy & compassion, managing their ill feelings, relationship building, managing conflicts, managing bullies etc, all come into play

2. Negotiations skills – This skill is a must learn since all our future life is going to have a lot of negotiations. Negotiation is not limited to only bargaining, but has a broader meaning. We have to negotiate with circumstances, in our relationships, dealing with others, and of course in commercial terms. So it becomes important to learn key frameworks and fundamentals, which make us ready to deal with the event smartly, not losing our interests easily. A lot of adults are bad in this basic skill, just because no one exposed them to the fundamentals of negotiations

3. Rationalising their ill feelings – Children after 10 undergo a major psychological shift. Now they start receiving external stimuli vehemently. Hence, the comparisons start coming in mind, envy and jealousy starts erupting, hate notions build up making one more negative, anger and anxiety starts rising, self doubts start becoming loud. A lot of mental voices start becoming loud, which needs to be rationalised. The child must know the true cause-effect and should be able to recognise and sieve out undesired thoughts impacting their mental health and pulling them back from being their best versions

4. Teamwork – Teamwork isn’t learnt later on. It has to be learnt well before. The notion of teamwork and exposing children to it, helps them become more socially acceptable, and also unleashes their true leadership abilities. Our lives nowadays are all connected, and the ability of a person to work effectively and efficiently with others helps oneself living a harmonious life. One can’t go far alone, so teamwork is what benefits all. There are many key fundamentals to learn, which make us a good teamplayer along with an attractive human being. 

5. Listening skills – For all other personality development skills which are very important, like oratory skills/public speaking skills/writing skills/communication skills etc, listening skills is the foundation. Listening skills means the ability of one to interpret rightly, listen patiently, listen emphatically, understand the gist and gravity, break any preconceived notions, not to make rigid judgements, analyse the situation & arguments well, and all then make any opinion or counter argument. Good listening skills lead to good communication skills, and hence good leadership skills. Unfortunately, this skill is lacked in the majority of the adults who operate from biases and sometimes short temper, ending up flunking the whole circumstance.

6. Adaptability skills – Those who don’t change, get left behind. Change is the only constant, and hence adaptability skills are must. It allows us to manoeuvre our actions accordingly, so that we don’t get confined or locked in our own zone or cage. Being flexible and open to change as the time demands is necessary to flow smoothly. Right frameworks and diligent effort to shape the child’s psychology towards this important trait has to begin from an early age

7. Boldness skills – World favours the bold. That’s the norm. Otherwise we would get suppressed or may be exploited. And boldness does not always mean being aggressive or combative. It has a lot to do with our psyche and our attitude. Dealing with failures, facing the challenges, daring & perseverance, all build our mental attitude so strong that we don’t get anxious or give up easily. Life will throw many challenges where we need to hold our own ground well, so we do need the tinge of necessary boldness skills. And these skills allows us to be well prepared mentally, and navigate such testing situations efficiently

8. Behavioural skills – Skills like – ability to say ‘No’, managing critical feedback, handling pressure, pitching or convincing skills, learning & grasping skills, putting a stand, getting the work done etc goes a long way along in our careers and professional journeys, and none of these can get efficiently acquired in later stages, or if at all one acquires them later, it already had taken away many crucial years before realising the importance of these. In the immediate run as well, child has to navigate many intricate circumstances, and have to muddle through them smartly, so it becomes imperative to inculcate these fundamental behavioural skills at an early age

9. Grey thinking, and not Black or White thinking – This skill is not even applied or learnt by adults. The result, rigid perspectives and less scope to look at the larger truth, impacting their own interpersonal relations and scenario understanding. Children are the one who are most prone to Black or white thinking, which may prove harmful to them in the long run. Whereas, in reality, there is nothing Black or white and there is a lot of grey area in between, which if ignored, will not help us deal with the circumstances well. Shaping the thinking to right thinking is a must learn skill

10. Ethics – Ethics are key differentiators in our conduct. Without ethics, the value of ours gets diminished. But at the same time, one can’t afford to be a nerd. So, balancing smartly and navigating as per need of the hours and at the same time, sticking to our ethics and value system is an art, which if learnt, helps us get distinguished from rest without becoming an outlier. Ethics are very important part of our life and shape our conduct and value system

Children are impressionable, so it’s us who have to make them clear about nitty gritties. Exposing them to these things early on helps them grow and bloom into a much better personality down the line, helping them in shaping their futures for the better…