Let’s unleash the Leader within our children!

We all want to be Leaders, but very few know what truly it takes to become a Leader. And we all can become leaders, in one aspect or the other. Leadership comes with a lot of learnings, development & responsibilities. This skill is very important for us to nurture, as we have to show leadership in one form or the other, in different walks of life!

In children, we see varying patterns. Some are born leaders. Tend to take responsibilities. Tend to carry the team along. Tend to be on the forefront. And there are other children who feel safe to be led. It doesn’t mean it is bad. Everyone can’t be a leader, and should not be a leader in all things. We have to choose our playfields wisely, and embrace leadership in fields we are innately oriented towards!

Children should be motivated to find their own strengths, to unleash the leader inside them, and apply leadership skills for those very areas.

Let’s personify a good leader with A Vs B comparison method. This will be helpful for them in the longer run, as their minds are always swirling and sometimes get swayed with superficial impressions.

What people think leadership is, and what is absolutely wrong – 

• One who commands others and has the authority
• The one from whom others fear
• The one who controls others

But, in reality, a true leader is – 

• The one who supports his/her team through thicks & thins
• The ones who helps his/her team members grow & win as a unit
• The ones who are humble to accept the mistake and correct it for the team
• The ones who show the example, makes the path, moves first for others to see and learn
• The one who positively influences others

Let’s make children aware about the fundamentals of leadership. For them to think, understand & get oriented towards the right attitude. It will require hand holding, lots of talking, story telling, guiding as per the circumstance. But it’s worth it. 

Give them some task in which the child leads the other members of the family, or ask them their preference area and give that space & opportunity to the child. Alongside, we can make a checklist for them to follow, so that they apply all fundamentals well.

• Ask children to develop the Vision, Foresightedness & sense of purpose – When we have clarity of our strengths and purpose, things become easier. Leadership then comes out on its own. A leader can see what others can’t see. And when leaders make that vision clear to others, it becomes easy for others to foresee and walk that path. So, leader is visionary

• Self Belief. Ask children to recite this 2 word Mantra – Sometimes, there can be a complex in a child’s mind, due to which he/she is holding himself/herself back. We need to address that complex and counsel that with the right cause-effect, converging them to their inner self belief. A leader has strong self belief, as there will be a lot of tests, trials. So, one has to have a strong belief in oneself, in one’s abilities, that other people look at you as a role model. Self belief helps us to have strong attitude, and go-getter attitude

• Tell children that one should have Open-ness to learn. Always – A leader is always open to learn from others, even the team members, so that necessary improvements can be made. At the end, the purpose is to get through with happy colors

• Humbleness & Modesty. No Ego. Ask children to demonstrate that – A leader is humble, grounded, and does not have ego. Because, a true leader cares about the team and larger goal, and does not let it harm due to one’s own selfishness or ill feelings. One is not authoritarian, but wise that one should carry all team members along. One does not tend to control others, but listens to them and guides them with love.

• Ask children to practice Empathy & Gratitude while being leaders of their teams – A leader has to apply empathy to understand his/her team members, and also show gratitude to them for their hard work. If leader is not understanding other people, other people will not be comfortable with the leader, and will be unhappy

• As a leader of your house, start acknowledging your team members (i.e other family members), and make this point clear to children as well – Children develop what they see. So, we should start from ourselves. Let’s acknowledge others and demonstrate to children. A leader recognises and acknowledges the good work of his/her team members. He is not self centric, but shares the credit to all team members. Acknowledging others motivates them further to do hard work and accomplish the goal

• Tell stories of calculated risks you have taken or the person you admire as a leader, to the children – A leader has to lead by example, and walk the path first, so that others can follow. A leader always has to take the risks, so that he can test and be assured if it’s safe for the followers. One has to move forward, create the path which sometimes involves risk, and one should not be shy to take that. Motivate children to take calculated risks. We can’t afford to be over-protective.

• When children fail or get agitated, motivate them to be patient & persistent, just like the super hero they admire in Marvel Movies – No success comes at once. So a leader has to be patient, as there will be many failures. Give real life or fiction movies examples. Real life would be better. Orient children to the notion that the leader has to keep the team motivated and collected, so that small failures do not break them. One has to develop patience & persistence. Also, it needs patience to make team work for the goal and understand them

• Emphasize on Good communication always – We need to tell the children that A leader communicates properly and well to his/her team so that all get aligned with the idea, and all work together in sync. If communication is not proper, and clarity is not there in communication, the team members will always be in a state of confusion and randomness. Also, respect has to be maintained in the communications and one should not be abusive

• Ask children to be strong. Be selfless while leading. Develop a larger Outlook – A leader is not selfish or thinks about personal interest. But for the team’s interest. It has a larger outlook and not just a short term outlook. A leader not only tends to win/accomplish the tasks, but also lets his/her team members grow. A leader has to be a good teamplayer first. This point has to be made clear in a very firm way so that there are no second thoughts in a child’s mind!

• Courage & Will Power is there in children. We just need to trigger that – Children sometimes need validation. Give that to them. It makes them feel positive. Don’t be too much conservative or protective. The child has to find his/her courage and will power on their own. The child has to fight his/her anxieties or worries on their own. A leader is bold, courageous and has strong will power. How would a person who is timid, full of self doubt and lack courage be able to lead others? No, he can’t lead. So, its necessary to develop boldness, courage and will power

• Ask children to show leadership by taking responsibility and ownership – Recognise them as leaders & acknowledge them when they show responsible behavior. It sits in their mind and leaves a good impression, to repeat such behavior again. Also tell that the one who blames others or pin points others can never be a leader. A leader takes failures as his failure and learns from mistakes to improve, and not hide behind excuses or blames

• Educate children that a true leader always supports & motivates his/her team – A true leader supports his/her team members in all phases, and motivates them truly so that they can reach their maximum potential. A leader is like a cushion which absorbs all the pains of the team members, and is there supporting them in difficult times. Motivate children to display this behavior and tell you if they have done so or are looking forward to doing so. Do give some sweet incentive!

Sow the seed of leadership early on, for them to display those skills during the time of action!