Growth Mindset Vs Fixed Mindset – It all starts from Childhood!
Our life approach arises from our Mindset. In every circumstance, we will be having 2 primary choices if we notice. One is to hold back and the other is to strive forward. Two choices arising out of Two primary mindsets. The former one from Fixed mindset and the latter one from Growth mindset.
More than anything, it’s the mindset which is the secret of success of Great Personalities. And it is the mindset which is the secret of mediocrity of average personalities. Not demeaning or denouncing anyone, just that if we wish to strive for Greatness, if we want to strive to be achievers, we need to have a Growth Mindset, without any disagreement.
Good part is, we can make children aware of these mindsets from an early age and consciously seed or push to develop a Growth Mindset. What basic things we can do at home to help the child –
Let’s tell children the definitions and root cause – Making them aware of the definition and root cause will help them get a better sense and be more conscious. It will enlighten them and motivate them to choose the right path. So, we have two minds.
Our fixed mindset comes from our lazy mind. It wants to stay in its comfort zone and does not want to make any effort to do something out of the box. It fears challenges and tries to avoid them. It makes us feel regret and remorse when we don’t achieve anything. It is NOT our best friend but rather an imprisonment.
Our Growth mindset comes from our active mind and our inner voice. It is our best friend. It tells us, guides us and motivates us to make an effort, face the challenge, get out of our comfort zones, be forward looking and work hard for our goals
Do not compare children with others. Reinforce to them that they have to become Best version of themselves and not to compare themselves with others – Yes, we have to really amend this habit of comparing children with others. We all are unique and different. By comparing, we kill the natural potential of the child. Instead, anchor them towards their own growth and development. When a child feels free of any burden to prove oneself in comparisons to other, he/she is more confident and harmonious to work for self growth. Let’s tell children that they have to constantly work hard to become better than themselves and eventually to the Best of their potential. They will not feel stressed and will be very much motivated.
Have a biweekly talk around monthly goals. Start with yourself. Set a culture – Having a purpose is very important to nurture a growth mindset. We always strive towards looking forward and thinking ‘What Next?’. To set up that culture, just sit down together once in two weeks making children the part of that meeting, and start with discussing your monthly or yearly goals for yourself. And then the other person talks about it. Then ask children about their goals. They slowly start getting oriented towards this idea of monthly/yearly goals and they become more purposeful. We have to set that culture.
Make children part of your problems and ask them their opinion – Problem solving is core to Growth mindset. Many times, we keep children astray thinking they are kids and we don’t want to burden them. We are not burdening them by involving them in our problems or challenges we face, rather make them prepared for the future. We anyways can’t evade challenges so better prepare them than to make them stay aloof. Ask them their opinions, think about their solutions, and tell them what’s possible, what’s not. We need to have patience. We need to anchor children towards problem solving
Tell stories of Great people and how the Growth mindset helped them. Also, tell how a fixed mindset has harmed many others who had the chance to be Great – Stories are one of the biggest motivators. Whether we tell them consciously, or make them watch a movie depicting growth mindset instances. Reinforce the concepts of Growth mindset and Fixed mindset and ask children to make their choices
Tell them with love and patience that the biggest blocker to our growth is our comfort zone – We need to make them aware of the concept of a comfort zone, a poisonous zone, where we feel we are doing good and are comfortable, but actually it’s killing us, only to realize later. Ask children to make new friends and not remain stuck with old friends. Ask children to participate in new activities, events and games, other than what we usually had been doing. Ask children to think what extra they should do to become better at something. Ask children to face challenges with a smiling face and confidence. Ask children to just not remain in their comfort zone. And we should promote all the avenues which takes them out of their comfort zone
Incentivise their responsible behaviors – Responsibilities and ownership actions are enablers of Growth mindset. So, let’s incentivise it and motivate children to continue that path. Reward mechanism works pretty well for children, for setting up a habit. Let’s acknowledge and incentivise them for their responsible attitude, as they don’t succumb to a lazy mindset. We have to counter the lazy mindset by any means.
Motivate them to do positive self talk – This is not to counter negative self talk which is a different topic, but to instill positive self talk. Children should say to themselves “I am capable of overcoming anything in my life”, “I will not hold myself back”, “I am good, I will not compare myself with others. I will work for my own growth”, “I will not stop once I achieve something. I will constantly look for new goals”. These positive reinforcements shape the child’s mentality and make them mentally very very strong
Whenever they procrastinate, remind them of the Growth mindset – This will help them identify patterns of their lazy mindset and remind them that they have to work toward their growth, learning and development. Procrastination is the result of lack of purpose, lack of growth mindset and lack of zeal. We need to address that. Give them the time, don’t enforce things, but just remind them to listen to their active mind instead of lazy mind. They will slowly get out of procrastination cycle and get on the track
Let’s make our children mentally strong and highly growth oriented. Celebrate their achievements and motivate them to constantly work for new ones! It’s all about mindset, how we perceive things.
