Exams are fun! These are not to be feared from!
Whenever exams used to come near in our childhood days, we used to start getting all these mixed feelings, with a lot of thoughts and emotions running high. A lot of subjects had to be covered, and just one wish used to be there – These exams days should get over soon!
Some used to feel too anxious with butterflies in their stomachs, and some used to feel burdensome. Some used to find it boring, and some used to find it a torturous experience!
The ones who used to find exams exciting were very few in numbers though, but have we thought what made their experience so cheerful, where the rest 90% used to struggle and get feverish during the exam days?
The answer is – “Approach”
How we can make our children’s exam days less burdensome and more cheerful ones! – A question we all parents have, with an earnest zeal to see our children focussing well during exam days, and doing well.
The following approach will help the child in any exam in their life. The school exams, or college exams or any of the life exams! We should correct this approach from an early age so that every exam for the child feels another opportunity to express oneself, rather than some hard time to end soon.
Approach to prepare for exams
Let’s make it comfortable for children, that exams are not to chase marks, or compare themselves. Exams are just revisions of our understanding of the subject matter. Yes, let’s encourage UNDERSTANDING, the True Learning! – Let’s make it Okay for children that they are in no race of marks. The marks are a by-product which we parents should also understand. Let’s ask children that they are studying for themselves, to know more, to learn more. Because when we know more, we become smarter, better and wiser. When we study for marks, it makes the process burdensome. But when we change our approach to understanding for our own self growth and knowledge, it becomes fun! Marks approach adds onto marks expectation, and expectation make us feel burdensome and anxious
Let’s motivate this narrative – “We need not to compare ourselves” – We are studying for ourselves, for our own understanding, not to impress or compete with others. Let’s motivate children to love the process. We all have our strengths and there is no point in comparisons. We all can not be toppers. So, better make it easy for children and lighter for them in their heads that stop comparisons, just focus on the process and enjoy learning and knowing more things as you study
How we can help children manage procrastination – Whenever we are procrastinating, we need to just switch off our lazy mind. Push children to start off, maybe even a small chapter. Motivate in between breaks to manage the lazy mind also. Ask children to eat healthy and not junk. Demotivate any TV or Laptop or prolonged screen times during exams, as it triggers our lazy mind. Also, motivate the right amount of sleep and relaxation
Let’s ask children when there is too much syllabus to cover, break that down into small parts, and after every part, when it gets over, revise that part, and then move on to the next part. When we think about loads and loads of topics to cover, we will get exhausted and feel pressured. We need to just relax, calm down, make our time plan topic wise and stick to that, manage procrastination and just take action accordingly!
Studying in sprints is another method. We plan our parts into sprints of 1.5 to 2 hrs. Then take 15-20 mins break. In that break, we should not watch TV, rather just relax, lay down, or go for a walk. Spending time on things which make us feel refreshed during those breaks, and not mentally tire us is key to remain focussed and energized
Tell children – They are not being judged, so Love yourself. Stay confident. Remain focussed! – Let’s make children feel loved, motivated, less judged and without any burden of expectations. Let’s motivate them to love the process and themselves. They will automatically get going into action mode when they will feel relaxed
Let’s demotivate Group Studies. Better strategy is “Study individually, Revise in Groups” – We end up gossiping more than studying and understanding. It derails our focus. We should not study in groups all the time. We talk more and study less. Rather study individually and revise in groups. Because while revising in groups, we grasp more and understanding gets entrenched when we discuss
Let’s address their anxiety, fears & self doubts – Let’s tell children that what they have learnt or understood well, will always be there inside them. It will never go away. If it is crammed, it may go away, but true understanding or learning will never go away. This will make them overcome any self doubt thoughts or any negative thoughts. Rest planning and studying as per time table will reduce anxiety to large extents
Approach on the Exam-Day!
Make them Rise up a bit early to Just revise the important concepts or parts – Morning hours are very fresh hours and whatever goes inside that time stays for long. But it’s a bad habit when we tend to push kids to revise all syllabus! Isn’t it too burdening to expect the child to tread through the entire syllabus which he/she spent 1 to 2 days studying for! So instead of revising the whole syllabus in the morning on exam day, just brushing up on the important parts or difficult parts is the best strategy. Let’s motivate kids to stay fresh and relaxed, to rise up early, try to sleep on time before the exam day, to give themselves good sleep
Before they leave home for school, say this in their ears – “Don’t overthink. Enjoy. Smile. Just express yourself best you know” – Reinforce that they have learnt well. Just need to go and give your exam well, what you know. This reinforcement will be a great confidence booster, than those vainful reminders “Do you remember that answer”, “Have you covered that part”, “Did you revise that in the morning”. These all things put unnecessary pressure. Let’s leave them with a positive note which will help them with positivity for what all they have prepared for. Let’s work on addressing our anxiety, so that we make them less anxious!
Tell children, after getting the question paper, that they need not to read it all at once, and get nervous. Instead just go section by section – Children should just see the sections if any, and start answering the most important section first, and then the second most important section, so that they can answer important parts with their fresh minds.
For the questions they don’t know the answer of or are confused, ask them to leave it for the time being, and answer the rest they can answer well for. Address the difficult/remaining questions again during the end, and try them at least, whatever they know. Sometimes, when we get stuck on a question, we start having negative self-doubting thoughts and lose all confidence for the rest of the questions too. Children are prone to this the most, so we need to make them practice to control their nerves and do the right thing for the moment
When in doubt whether their answer is correct or not, ask them not to listen to their mind, but their heart – Many a times, out of confusion and self doubt, children write right answers first, only to change them later thinking that’s wrong. When they aren’t sure, our heart is our true guide. Tell children to ask their heart what it feels. If it says it feels right, just go on with that. To note, rechecking is different than being confused about the answer. This piece is applicable when the child gets too confused about an answer even after rechecking
Let’s promote good presentation – The checker gets impressed by a clear exam copy and is less frustrated, so will not deduct marks unnecessarily. Make children practice to underline key sentences or words, to make it easy for the examiner to check papers. Need not to waste time underlining using scale, but freehand clean underlinings will also work!
It’s a very bad choice to discuss each and every question with friends post the exam. It just adds on to the anxiety. We can not change the answer, so we need not to discuss the paper. Rather just talk about other things and enjoy those talks. We can always see our mistakes on PTM and correct them for the future. Discussing things will just make us feel disappointed and reduce our enthusiasm to prepare for the next exam. Also, it may make children slip into an overthinking pit. Let’s ask children to make their hearts and minds light. Ask children to get away from all those kids who are discussing the entire paper post exam.
Come back home, eat, relax and rest – Dissuade them from continuously watching TV or something which exhausts them further. We need to remind them, they have to repeat the preparation cycle for the next subject. Alternative can be, a small game played with friends, or a bicycle ride around the society, or a quick swim or a small walk around, but no TV, laptop or mobile phone games!
Do ask them their post exam plans – Give them some exciting occasion to look upon to after their exams. When we push for that excitement on our own, children get all the cheer for the day. Tell them that after the exams are over, we all will go out for a good dinner or lunch, or go to his/her favorite place or enjoy the post exams holidays at some destination. Hurray!
Exams are fun. It’s just that the mindset with which the children approach the exam has to be altered for their good. It’s all in the approach!
